Power Connects People

When you think about people who are strongly driven to acquire power, what kinds of things do you imagine they are after? Is power about having: influence over others, money, status, glory, independence, self-confidence?

Popular stories in our culture like to distinguish power seekers from relationship seekers—people whose primary motivation is to foster connections and intimacy with others. The power and relationship motives are usually depicted as incompatible, where power is achieved at the expense of having relationships. As prime examples, think about the main characters in films like Citizen Kane, Scarface, and The Social Network. These stories tell us that power seeking is driven by self-centered ambitions, and as long as this motive is strong, the relationship seeking motive will be weak.

We forget that the rewards of power and the rewards of relationships overlap. We forget that power connects people to one another, and the more powerful person usually reaps the rewards of these relationships. Having power means having favorable connections to others.

Imagine a typical power imbalance in the workplace. A company hires two people to run a newly-created department at the company: Mr. Alpha is brought in to head the new department and Mr. Beta is hired as second in command. Mr. Alpha is given the power to fire and/or promote Mr. Beta, making Mr. Beta dependent on Mr. Alpha’s approval. Their jobs have established this connection between them, and we can be fairly certain that their interactions will be more pleasant for Mr. Alpha than Mr. Beta. Mr. Beta will be more accommodating, deferential, and experience more anxiety about saying or doing the wrong things.

As it happens, Mr. Alpha has relocated from across the country to take this job, and feels isolated in his new city. Mr. Alpha’s not a bad guy, but he insists that he and Mr. Beta take all their coffee breaks and go out on all sales calls together, just so Mr. Alpha can have the interpersonal contact. Mr. Beta goes along without complaining. After a few weeks Mr. Alpha begins to feel less isolated in his surroundings, having established some camaraderie.

In power imbalances, the more powerful person can usually set the terms of the relationship and build rapport without much resistance. This may not create close authentic bonds, but don’t underestimate the appeal of casual interactions with people who are courteous and attentive to you. These interactions should be especially appealing to men, who tend to be more satisfied with shallow relationships than women.

The point is that these relationships can be rewarding, and ultimately strengthen the allure of power. For some people, the promise of social connections may even be the hidden force behind their desire for power, especially for people who have trouble establishing connections under normal circumstances.

So even though the search for power and relationships are often portrayed as competing goals, it’s rarely that simple. Selfish goals may navigate the pursuit of power, but the motivation to connect with others is stronger than it seems, stronger than even the seeker realizes.

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Published by Ilan Shrira

 

The Influences of Your Work Style

Although it’s important for you to understand the different work styles of your employees so you can support them, it’s also critical for you to understand your own work style. Are you creative? Structured? Wedded to your job? Resentful of the time your job keeps you from other activities? If you’re not sure, look around you. What do you see in your employees? While each person has a unique work style, like attracts like. People tend to be drawn to people who are like them, which is as true in the workplace as anywhere else. All other qualifications being equal, you’re more likely to hire someone you feel has something in common with you than someone who is clearly your opposite.

You might be a creative free spirit overseeing the work of people who prefer structure, not well-suited for the level of detail managing these employees requires — or the reverse. Be honest with yourself about your work style and your expectations. If you are not a good fit for your managerial duties or are in over your head, you and your employees will suffer. Pursue options that better match your abilities.

Sometimes remaining fair across work styles means separating out the accomplishments, both real and potential, of employees from your own values and standards. You might be pretty loose when it comes to the structure of your workday, content to work late all week and then take Friday afternoon off. Yet you might have employees who insist on leaving right at the stroke of five, regardless of what activity engages them when the workday officially ends.

As frustrating as this may be within the context of your work style, it’s important to shift your perceptions into the employee’s work style. If this person is incredibly productive during the workday, then it’s only fair for you to acknowledge this. You can’t expect your employees to behave like you do, or only reward them when they do. Fairness also means being able to respect and reward people for what and who they are, not what you want them to be.

Your personal work style forms the platform from which you accommodate other work styles. Yes, it’s a bias. But it’s where we all start. The key to being successful as a manager is to move beyond square one. Once you understand what your work style is, it’s easier to understand differing work styles. The only way to appreciate differences is to understand them. Then you can truly manage by building on people’s strengths and minimizing their weaknesses. And you can learn from your employees, so you too can grow and evolve.

by Gary McClain, Ph.D., and Deborah S. Romaine

 

Making Daily Progress Towards Your Big Goals

Often we make New Year’s Resolutions, because we are dissatisfied with something in our lives. When we make our resolutions, we want things to change as soon as possible. What we often forget is that long-term lifestyle changes take time, patience, and effort.

I believe you have to know what your long-term goals are so you can make small goals (i.e., daily tasks) have direction and purpose. I only work with people who are 100% committed to change. But what does that mean? When you commit to changing something about yourself, then you have to ask yourself and know the answers to these two questions.

(1)    How much is it worth to me to achieve this goal? What am I willing to pay? What will I sacrifice now, so I can achieve this goal sooner, rather than later?

(2)    How will I know when I’m successful? What will make me satisfied, but encouraged to keep working harder?

I believe you have to remind yourself daily of your answers to the two questions above, otherwise you may find yourself quickly coming up with lots of things to do on your to-do list that are not aligned with the daily action you must take to achieve the goals that are most important to you, your happiness, and success.

Psychologists Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer latest program of research called The Progress Principle encourages people to focus on small immediate changes at work where they can see the progress they’ve made to increase their motivation, job satisfaction, and productivity. This is counter to what many people do when making resolutions and goals for themselves (whether it is at work or in their personal lives) that take a long time to achieve. Ronald Riggio, Ph.D., explains how these two psychologists stumbled upon what computer game programmers have known for years: that people become strongly motivated (sometimes even addicted)  to accomplish small tasks (i.e. get to the next level); he further explains how to use this knowledge to get ahead at work.

If you’ve been reading the latest articles on major news websites like Kathy Kristof’s on 7 Ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions the last few weeks, you may have noticed two trends often mentioned: choose small bite-sized goals and celebrate every time you surpass or meet these small goals. For example, if you’d like to lose 30 pounds, then focus on losing 1 pound per week for 30 weeks. Each week you lose 1 pound, then celebrate with a reward such as a manicure or a bubble bath. If you’d like to run a marathon and you don’t run, then focus first on running 5 miles the first week, and increase your mileage by 10% each week, celebrating your breakthroughs each week. I completely agree; however, know why you’ve committed to challenging yourself to do, or think, or feel differently each day.

Be Aware of the Big Picture

What this means is that even though we are focusing on small daily tasks, before we commit to what we’re going to do each day; we also need to be cognizant of what our BIG, long-term goals are so that somewhere in the busy-work of our days we’re doing the small tasks that will get us closer to our long-term goals. Knowing what the big picture is for why we work on daily and weekly goals will help us stay focused on the direction our lives are moving towards while providing daily structure.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

 

Awesome Power of Goal Setting: 10 Tips for Triumph

Set Your Course and Direction With Goals

By Susan M. Heathfield, About.com Guide

Heed the advice offered by Lewis Carroll’s Cheshire Cat, Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe and Stephen Covey. When you begin your new year with solid direction and desired outcomes in mind, you set yourself up for awesome success.

The new year is a beginning, so new goals and resolutions, new plans, new dreams and new directions fuel your thoughts. Whether it’s your fiscal year, your budget year, your religious year or the calendar new year, goals and resolutions are on your mind. These tips will help you achieve your goals and live your resolutions.

What is it about this annual “new” that causes us to reflect upon our lives and our accomplishments? I believe each of us has a natural inclination to grow our self-esteem and capability through new accomplishments. Most of us want to make a difference in the world. Most of us want to live life as fully as we can. Thus, we annually draw a new line in the sand and claim a starting point for our next chapter.

Goal Setting Success

Yet, for all the initial enthusiasm, keeping yourself motivated, committed and moving toward the accomplishment of your goals, is often tough. Tired of setting goals and making resolutions which fade fast from your daily thoughts and actions? Consider adopting some or all of these tips to experience awesome success in accomplishing your goals and living your resolutions.

From my Favorite Quotation Series:

Lewis Carroll from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:

“‘Cheshire Puss,’ she began, rather timidly,as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. `Come, it’s pleased so far,’ thought Alice, and she went on. `Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat.
`I don’t much care where–’ said Alice.
`Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.
`–so long as I get SOMEWHERE,’ Alice added as an explanation.
`Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough.’”

–Project Gutenberg, 1991

The Goal Is Yours – You Own the Goal

Whether the goal is a promotion at work, a streamlined work process, a new customer, a published article, an exercise program or weight loss, the goal must be your goal. You are unlikely to achieve your manager’s goal, your spouse’s goal or the goal you think you “ought” to work on this year. Your goals must generate excitement when you ponder their accomplishment. You must believe there is something in it for you to accomplish them.

Sometimes, especially at work, if you perceive the end reward is worth the work, you will take on challenges in support of the organization’s goals. These goals might not be as close to your heart as your personal goals, but you work to achieve them for the good of the organization and your success there.

Here are three more tips that will help you experience awesome success in accomplishing your goals and living your resolutions.

Base Your Goals Firmly in Your Values

Hyrum Smith, the founder of Franklin Quest, later Franklin-Covey, Inc., developed a model for goal setting. Smith’s “Success Triangle” puts governing values at the base of the goal setting process. Smith recommends that every goal is linked specifically to a governing value. For example, if diversity in the workforce is a value espoused by your organization, then at least one goal must further diversity. Every goal should be linked to a governing value.

Short-term, mid-term and long-term goals are then established based upon the solid foundation of your values. If the goal you set is congruent with and allows you to live your most important values, you are more likely to accomplish the goal.

According to Gene Donohue, of TopAchievement.com, set goals in all aspects of your life, to maintain your life balance. The balance also helps you accomplish goals as each aspect of your life is represented in your goals. You are less likely to experience warring priorities if every aspect of your life has a value-based goal. He suggests goals in these arenas.

Family and Home
Financial and Career
Spiritual and Ethical
Physical and Health
Social and Cultural
Mental and Educational

From my Favorite Quotation Series:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it.’”(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)

–W.H. Murray, of the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

Believe You Can Accomplish the Goal

Each of us has a little voice in our head. It is the voice of our sub-conscious, judging self. On a daily basis, we engage in self-talk; we comment on each situation we encounter. We discuss events and plans in our minds. Our commentary is both positive and negative. Positive thoughts and planning support the accomplishment of our goals. Negative thoughts and comments undermine our self-esteem and self-confidence, and negatively impact our ability to accomplish our goals.

Listen to your voice. You can change its tone by believing in yourself and in your ability to accomplish your goals and resolutions. Use this unconscious critic to positively support your goal setting success.

If you are a manager, one of your more important tasks is to support the development of positive self-esteem by your staff members. Your positive outlook and belief in their ability to accomplish great goals fosters their increased self-esteem and self-confidence. This, in turn, magnifies their ability to accomplish more and contribute more to your business.

Paint a Vivid Outcome

Traditionally, goals were established around measurable outcomes. This works well when the outcomes are measurable. Don’t tie yourself to setting only measurable goals, however; you may find yourself concentrating on the trivial, because it is measurable, rather than on your most important outcomes. Sometimes the most important goals, the non-urgent, critical goals, are hard to measure.

“Explore alternatives for a business in the World Wide Web,” is tough to measure, whereas the steps, once you make a decision, are easy to measure. “Learn about new options and thinking around performance management,” is tough to measure in any significant way. The next step, “design a new appraisal system,” is easier to define and measure.

As you move up the management ranks, you may find more of your goals are harder to measure. The key measurable aspects of your job will likely be the results produced by your reporting staff.

With goals that are hard to measure, start with a picture in your mind, that you commit to paper, that describes the outcome you are seeking. Make the picture as vivid as you can. I have a published book in my mind, while I am still thinking about and exploring potential topics.

You really need to write down your goals and share them with people who support your progress.

Here are six more tips that will help you experience awesome success in accomplishing your goals and living your resolutions.
Write Your Goals

Writing out your goal is your commitment to achieving the goal. Writing a goal is a powerful statement in comparison with half-formulated thoughts in the back of your mind. It is the conscious promise to yourself to pay attention to the accomplishment of the goal. Writing out potential action plans and due dates makes the goal even more powerful.
Share Your Goals With People Who Are Important to You

If you are certain your significant others will support the accomplishment of your goals, share them. Your manager is likely to support your goal accomplishment as your success is her success. Honestly assess the ability of family members, peers and friends to provide support. In close relationships, many different feelings, experiences and historical events are at play. If you don’t believe you will have whole-hearted support, keep the goals to yourself.
Check Goal Setting and Achievement Progress Regularly

One of the weaknesses of any annual appraisal system is the lack of frequency with which progress and success are measured and tracked. You are most likely to accomplish the goals you set if you review them daily as part of your normal planning process. (You do have a normal planning process, don’t you?)

Whether you use a paper planner or a hand held computer, you can enter your goals, and schedule daily and weekly actions that support their accomplishment. The discipline of the daily review is a powerful goal accomplishment tool.
Take Action to Identify and Eliminate Obstacles to Goal Setting Success

Simply tracking your goals daily is not enough. If you’re unhappy with your progress, you need to assess what is keeping you from accomplishing the goals. Ask yourself questions such as, “Is this goal really important?” (If not, why did you pledge to accomplish it; maybe it’s not important, or less important than other goals.)

”Are there specific obstacles you are experiencing which are interfering with your ability to accomplish the goal?” (In this case, make action plans to remove the obstacles or seek help from a co-worker, friend or family member.)

If you are not making progress on a particular goal, attempt to do a root cause analysis to determine why. Only by honestly analyzing your lack of progress can you determine steps to take to change this picture. In this era of the hand-held computer and PDA cell phones, picture your goals automatically forwarding for 365 days. Talk about a daily reminder about failure!
From my Favorite Quotation Series:

Seven Habits Revisited

“Begin With the End In Mind is the endowment of imagination and conscience. If you are the programmer, write the program. Decide what you’re going to do with the time, talent, and tools you have to work with: “Within my small circle of influence, I’m going to decide.”

–Stephen R. Covey
Reward Yourself and Celebrate Goal Accomplishment

Even the accomplishment of a minor goal is cause for celebration. Don’t depress yourself with thoughts about all you still have to do. Celebrate what you have done. Then move on to the next milestone.
Goals and New Year Resolutions Change

Periodically look at the goals you have set for this year. Are the goals still the right goals? Give yourself permission to change your goals and resolutions based on changing circumstances.

Don’t spend an entire year failing to achieve a particular goal. Your time is better spent on achievement than on beating yourself up for lack of progress. Maybe you made the goal too big; maybe you set too many goals. Do an honest assessment; change what needs to change periodically, and move on.

Paying attention to these ten guidelines can make all the difference in your year. Will this year be a year of triumph for you, a year of awesome success? Whatever your goals and resolutions, these tips can help power your success.

[By Susan M. Heathfield, About.com Guide]

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