We at Mars Venus know we live in a world that is hurting. My question to you is what do you do on a daily basis to make a difference in someone’s life? Last week I found out our family friend died. Oftentimes we get so busy with the to-do lists in our daily life that we miss spending time and telling the people that matter most to us how pivotal they are in our lives. Why do we do this? And, more importantly, what are the ways we can show unconditional love to the important people in our lives?
Little Actions Speak Volumes for How You Love
Don’s life touched many, and he always made sure those he loved and cared for knew he was thinking about them. Whenever I saw Don and Alice together—they seemed to orbit around one another, opposites attracting, but perfect complements. When I think of Don and Alice, it reminds me of everything John Gray, Ph.D., author of the bestselling book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, writes passionately about how two people can become more fully themselves when they have someone right next to them lifting them up, and making them be a better version of themselves.
Their acts of service for each other were amazing to be a part of and witness. Alice always fixed his favorite dishes, and made sure he was relaxing when he was at home. Likewise, Don worked hard to provide for his family, and when he was at home he always made sure to do what he could to make things easier on Alice. Their fondness for each other was palpable, and a great role model for my husband and I as we navigated our early years of marriage.
Reflecting back on all of our interactions with Don, we know we were loved by him, because of all the little things he did for us on a daily basis. John Gray, Ph.D., recommends to men that the little acts of love matter far much more to women then big gifts of appreciation, as is taught in the first day of coach training at Mars Venus Coaching. I tend to agree.
I first met Don twenty-five years ago when I was a little girl and he was working for my mom. Don was a solid, upright, tenaciously funny Cajun man, who also happened to be wildly in love with his British wife Alice. When my father died when I was ten years old, he was there pulling our family back into the land of the living with his humor. He had a unique ability to show everyone he knew the depth of his love and zest for life.
- So for as long as I can remember Don has been an endearing male role model for me, my sister, and my mom. Once Don met my husband six years ago, my husband became one of hundreds of people Don added to his list of those he cared for and deeply loved. Did Don know how much we love him and his wife? Telling my husband that Don died was devastating for both of us, but we’re pulling ourselves out of our grief by remembering Don’s legacy. Using the knowledge from Mars Venus Coaching, we chose to celebrate life verses grieving loss.
Do you ever wonder how to let people know your appreciation or support for them? What about when you’re a person of few words or have difficulty showing your emotions? Don showed us his love through:
- Phone Calls
- Visiting and Welcoming People into Our Home
- Breaking Bread Together
- Sharing Funny Stories
- Reminiscing Together
- Kidding Each Other Lightly
- Showing Support and Encouragement During Life’s Difficult Times By Just Being There
When my husband and I moved back to my hometown in Alaska, guess who helped two newlyweds figure out the married ropes? Don and his wife fed us, watched our puppy, helped us through two devastating miscarriages, cared for me while my husband was deployed in Iraq, and then celebrated his return at the redeployment ceremony with us. Not in words, but in actions.
The little acts of kindness and love are often inexpensive. However, the enormity of showing we care tends to ripple and grow in impact throughout the lives of those we love—if we take the time to do them.
Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd
Mars Venus Coaching
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