Mars Venus on Venusians Self Promoting

It’s amazing how some people are natural self promoters in the workplace.  Normally men are more apt to promote themselves then women.  That’s not to say women don’t want promotion, the majority of them just don’t speak up.    John Gray’s, author of Mars Venus, point of view is clear in listing the differences on how Martians and Venusians promote themselves.

1)      Women will wait to be asked what they think.  Where a man will just speak up.

Venusians are very polite that way.  In the corporate world you have to speak up or you just don’t get noticed.  Others, even more Martian females, will speak up and make their presence known stealing your thunder and ultimately that promotion you wanted.  Venusians needs to learn effective ways to communicate their expectations.

2)      Men assume if you have something to say, you will speak up.

Men are that way with each other.   They feel you have to speak up or you just don’t get heard.  They expect women to know that and be the way.  However, men need to know to bring the Venusians into the conversation and ask what their thoughts are so they feel included.  Women need to learn to speak up.

3)      Move ahead by making friends not enemies with those up line.

Mars Venus feels it is important to connect with upper management.  Don’t be shy about introducing yourself to the executives of your company.  Let your supervisors know that you would be interested in moving up with the company.  Keep informed on upcoming vacancies. Never create conflict in your workplace so is to not attach negativity to yourself.  Make your requests short and direct when dealing with Martian management.  They will be more impressed with you in the long run.  Believe me, even if they ask, they don’t care to hear about your newborn’s colic.

4)      Men are constantly promoting themselves

Have you ever eaves dropped on a group of men talking to each other?  If you listen long enough, by the end of the conversation one has climbed Mount Everest three times in one hour, the other did the same in 45 minutes.  We see it as one up man ship; to them it’s self promoting.  However, while to the Venusians it can be annoying to an employer it can be a good thing if tempered.  This is a person that is not afraid to tell someone how truly awesome he is.

5)      A Venusians’ rule is “Do your best and you will be noticed and rewarded.”

Well sometimes that’s true but sometimes you have to toot your own horn.  Men have no problem with taking credit.  They will take credit so fast it will make your head spin.

Example: Say you were working on a project. Let’s call it “The Corporate Health and Wellness Program.”    Venusian in charge might stand and give credit to her team and perhaps point out a couple of individuals.  A man might take the bulk if not all the credit.  It’s like the last slice of pizza; if no one wants it…he’s all over it.  Remember they are always promoting themselves

6)      Build rapport with men by not making them wrong

If you try to prove a man wrong they will instantly go into a “Save Face” mode.  That is a typically defensive mode that shuts a man down to ANYTHING you have to say.  If a man disagrees with you just say something like “That’s sounds good, did you ever consider…” and ease into your suggestion and leave it at that.  That technique will help you avoid any types of conflict.

When you’re trying to be self promoting you may be dealing with upper management which may consist of a combination of Martians and Venusians.   Either way, these are Martians and Venusians that have taken on Martian traits.  You have to treat them as such and learn the most concise way to convey your productivity to upper management and in turn promote yourself effectively.

Dolores Baltierra

Mars Venus Coaching