Do you really want a boyfriend or girlfriend? If you spend a lot of time sitting at home wondering why you cannot find anyone to date, then I have a few questions for you to think about as well as a solution to finding more dates.
How often are you asking people you find interesting to go out on a date?
We often get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over again. The solution is to do something different. If you are having trouble finding and going out on dates, then there’s generally two reasons why this is the case.
- You are not asking people out.
- You are asking people out, but they say no or do not call you back.
If you are not asking people out, then I have two questions for you:
- Are you in the right place?
- What is holding you back from asking someone out?
If you are asking people out, but they are not saying yes, then I have two more questions:
- Are you self-sabotaging before you even ask?
- Are the people you’re asking out interested in being asked out?
Sometimes it is as easy as putting yourself in the right location to find people to date. If you are at home, doing hobbies with people who are not single, or are uncomfortable getting to know strangers in large or noisy crowds (like a bar or restaurant), then how can others see you relaxed and shining so they want to get to know you? If it is difficult to find the courage to flirt, you keep striking out (but don’t know why), or you don’t know how, then by learning how to understand and communicate with the opposite sex, you can learn how to become more comfortable.
The solution: Try something new.
It’s not all about numbers though, is it? You don’t just want lots of dates, what you really desire is to find someone to love you. Most likely, you are fed up with what you have or have not been doing. You want a long term relationship. If you listen more to negative discussions in your head or prefer solitude over getting to know other people, then there is hope. By learning communication skills and how to understand emotions, and use them to your benefit—you can increase the amount of dates you go on. The article 4 Reasons Why Accountability Increases Your Dating Odds further explains how a Mars Venus Coach can help you realize your goal of finding and then sustaining a healthy, loving relationship.
Investing in yourself to help you find someone right for you is well worth the expense and effort. If at the end of the day, you learn how to take the good out of all of your life experiences and to keep challenging yourself to grow in emotional maturity, then you will succeed. The insurance is that your relationships will become healthier.
When you get outside of your head, you learn how to connect with people on a genuine level. As you gain courage to approach people and have conversations with them, then you’ll begin to increase your dating odds. As you learn more about yourself and how to manage your emotions and thoughts, then you will also gain clarity on who you’re looking for as a mate.
As you make yourself available by engaging in doing things you’re interested in with other people, then it is only a matter of time before you find someone compatible for you. Chances are you’ll be able to identify when a relationship is going somewhere, and when it’s not the best one for you. This will enable you to spend more time in the relationship you want, rather than chasing after a dream, or frustrated with not knowing how to make that relationship come to fruition. Are you ready to try something new?
Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd
Mars Venus Coaching
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