Mars Venus asks “How Much should you Give of yourself?”

 

Where is this relationship going?

Where is this relationship going?

Did you ever ask yourself “how much is a relationship really worth? “   Am I really in love with this person?   “If I found myself without a partner, would I survive?”  Ok that last one was a little melodramatic but you get the point.  Mars Venus recognizes, seems more likely than not, women are more likely to change and bend to make a relationship work.  In the process, losing themselves and ultimately losing their individuality.  There’s a fine line between picking your battles and sacrificing the lamb.

Your friends can notice tell tale signs and good friend will try to warn you.  I can tell you from experience, neither work.  Only you can make that decision and sometimes it comes too late and, at times, at a high price. Mars Venus always suggests coaching sessions, there are things you need to do at home to keep your individuality intact. It’s very important to do things separate from the couple situation.  Hang out with your female friends or join a group or a women’s club.  These are simple solutions that keep you from becoming totally dependent on one person causing you to lose precious freedom.  It is also good for refueling your oxytocin levels, a chemical women produce when we are relaxed and happy.

Here are also some things you should keep in mind when you are in a relationship.  Good or bad it does not matter; it’s a question of self preservation.  I’m not saying this to taint a beautiful thing, you just never know.  The moment you say you don’t need a fire extinguisher, something catches fire.

So I digress.  Just a few things you should keep in mind:

1)       Does ask you for money on a daily bases AND do you give it to him willingly?  Where is his money going?

2)      When you go out, who pays?  Stop it..NOW!

3)      Does he make out his Christmas or Birthday list?  Isn’t the surprise the point of the gift?  What is he?  He’s not 5 years old and you’re not Santa.

4)      Does he hide money in a secret place in his wallet?  Why is he asking for money if there is money in his wallet?

5)      Does he lock his cell phone?  There is a difference between being private and being secretive.

6)      Does he shoot you a courtesy call when he’s going to be late from work?   Some guys think that controlling.  I call it common courtesy.

7)      Can you have a candid and open conversation with him without him getting defensive?   No?  Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

8)      In said arguments, does he try to turn the table on you?  Blaming you for his anger?   Time to put on your running shoes.  That’s clear indicator of an abusive trait.

9)      Are you losing weight for yourself or because of him?   If it’s because of him? That’s a no no.

If you have answered yes to any combination of these questions, you probably want to reevaluate your situation by not giving too much of yourself.   Keep a separate bank account somewhere and spare clothes and cash at a good friend’s house.  This might seem extreme but until you’ve been there you just never know.  Better safe than sorry, always.

Dolores Baltierra

Mars Venus Coaching