No sugar coating here. Unless you’re fortunate enough to be born to take over a thriving family business or to get in on the ground floor of the next Facebook, the road to business success is seldom a simple one.
In my experience and observation, success is much less the product of one brilliant idea than of a great deal of hard work, well-executed and sustained over a long period of time.
Even in the best of times, no one will just hand you a position of great value for nothing. If your goal is vice presidency or partner or managing director or the c-suite, or whatever role has captured your imagination, no one can guarantee you’ll attain it. But if hard work is the currency of success, there are things you can do to make that effort work as hard as possible for your up-and-coming career. So with a tip of the cap to one the greatest musicals ever (“How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”), here are five activities that can be worth really trying to put extra time into.

Learn the business – If you work for a sizable organization, and perhaps if you don’t, chances are your business has considerable complexity. Take time to learn not just your particular role (that’s “table stakes”- you have to know it), but also to gain a broader understanding of the business: the competitive environment, the market forces at play, the company’s value proposition, sales model, pricing model, etc. No one’s expecting you to become expert in all these fields, but gaining at least a working understanding of the key macro-level issues is always helpful. Familiarity with these larger issues senior management is grappling with will only enhance your decision-making capabilities in your own role.

Make yourself indispensable – Take time to really understand what your manager needs. Not just what is needed from you in your current role, but what are the troubling problems that keep him or her up at night? Is it help with PowerPoints, an upcoming presentation to a hostile audience, delicate personnel problems, or dealing with regulators… to name just a few of a thousand possibilities. Try to see things through the eyes of others. The more substantive assistance you can provide, the more gaps you can fill, the more valuable you’ll be to an organization.

Provide solutions, not problems – The normal state of senior management is too much to do in too little time. When wrestling with difficult issues in your own area, naturally you can’t always solve all the problems yourself. But it definitely can be worth the extra time to not simply make your problems your manager’s. Instead, present your manager with a carefully thought out range of viable options – ideally including your recommended solution – rather than just posing a vexing, time-consuming problem. This approach demonstrates your critical thinking capabilities, and can be an appreciated time saver for a person with little time to spare.

Be a great collaborator – Good team players are valued. Large complex projects always require people with diverse skills. Attitude matters; effective collaborators often find themselves in demand. Consider taking the time to volunteer for a large project that may be understaffed, even in an area outside your core expertise. This can be a way of broadening your skill set and business knowledge, plus demonstrating your motivation. Management appreciates self starters who ‘play well with others.’

Come early, stay late – The best point I can offer here is a story of my own. While I’m an advocate in theory for as much work-life balance as possible, the fact is, if you want to get ahead, there will be periods in a career where there are no substitutes for grindingly long hours. There was a period in my own career where I was especially motivated by the prospect of advancement and all that went with it, and had great respect for the organization and the work we were doing. Accordingly, I resolved to myself that no one in the 20-person department I worked in (including the SVP who managed the operation) would come in earlier or work later than I would. Did I always achieve that? No. But did my diligence catch the attention of senior management and ultimately help my career? Yes. (The assumption here of course is that you’re not simply sitting around long hours playing video games or writing to your aunt… but doing real work and adding value!)
In the end of course, occupational success is preordained for no one. Many talented people compete for relatively few coveted positions. But you can take certain actions to improve your odds. And if you do, regardless of how things turn out in a particular instance, at the very least you’ll have the benefit of broadening your skills and the satisfaction of knowing you gave your very best effort.

Reassurance
When you and your partner, friend, co-worker or relative are accustomed to arguing or struggling to be “right” and make each other “wrong”, your discussions can be blocked by the fear that every conversation will be just another struggle, someone is going to lose, someone will end up feeling bad, or nobody will win. Worse yet, after all the hassle, frustration and resentment, the problem could still be unsolved. So, when you propose to talk about something, the response is “why bother?”

If the other person won’t talk about a problem, it may be because he or she fears the outcome of the discussion. Determining the source of the fear (is it fear of losing? fear of arguing or fighting? fear it won’t work?) gives you an idea about what is needed to reassure your partner.

Reluctance or refusal talk is usually the result of one or more specific fears, such as:

• Fear of being manipulated or overpowered: When one of you is more verbal than the other, the less verbal partner can feel overwhelmed and inadequate, and those feelings lead to not wanting to talk at all.
• Fear of being taken advantage of, made a fool of, or “conned”: If there’s no history of this within your relationship, this fear may come from elsewhere, such as a past relationship or early childhood: For example, older kids or siblings always took advantage of you. Those feelings persist, and even if you overcame them in business settings, they may come up when you become close enough to a spouse to feel vulnerable.
• Fear of having another fight: When you have a history of fighting with each other, both of you can become reluctant to begin a conversation (or to get into a serious discussion) because you are sure it will become a fight.
• Fear that the process will be a long, complicated hassle (hard work) without a worthwhile result (a waste of time): This fear can come about when you’ve had a lot of stubborn struggles which get nowhere.
• Fear of losing, or having to give up something important: You or your partner might be reluctant to discuss an issue because one of you suspects you might be wrong, and doesn’t want to admit it or give up a bad habit.
• Fear that a new approach won’t go well or work at all: When you’re making changes in how you talk to each other, especially if it doesn’t work well when it’s brand new, you might be resistant to trying again.

Each of these fears, and any others that might come up, can be discovered, communicated and reassured, and the following guidelines will show you how.

• DO: Gently let your partner know that you think he or she is avoiding a conversation, by mentioning what you observe: “When I asked if you wanted to talk, you said yes, but then you disappeared. Are you reluctant to talk about this?”
• DON’T: Criticize or accuse your partner. What you observed could be wrong, so ask your partner if your guess is correct, and he or she is reluctant to negotiate.
• DO: Ask for an appointment to talk again.
• DON’T: Accuse your partner of being afraid to talk; just acknowledge your own fears, if you have any. Perhaps your fear is that he or she won’t talk to you.
• DON’T: Deny your own behavior. If you argued in the past, acknowledge it, and explain what is different now: “You’re right, we did get angry and yell before, but we both realize that doesn’t work, and we’re learning a new way.”
• DO: Make some agreements about what to do if your discussion becomes a problem. “If this starts to be difficult, we’ll take a break.” Knowing that you have a strategy to take care of yourselves if things don’t go right will give you the additional confidence to talk.
• DO: Reassure each other. Make an agreement that you will honor each other’s opinions, play fair and seek a mutually satisfactory outcome. Let your friend or partner know that you care about his or her wants and needs.
• DO: Agree to do whatever you can to create a pleasant experience with a desirable result. Knowing how to reassure each other will enhance your communication, your intimacy and your sexual connection. In chapter four, you’ll learn how to make transitions, which will further enhance your communication and intimacy.

Top Tip For Improvement: At least once a day, listen to the messages your body is sending you about your health. Actively monitor these signals instead of going on autopilot. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate rest are all key aspects of having a high BQ. Monitoring your weight, practicing moderation with alcohol, and making sure you have down time can dramatically benefit the functioning of your brain and the way you perform at work.
What You Really Need To Succeed
It doesn’t matter if you did not receive the best academic training from a top university. A person with less education who has fully developed their EQ, MQ, and BQ can be far more successful than a person with an impressive education who falls short in these other categories.
Yes, it is certainly good to be an intelligent, rational thinker and have a high IQ; this is an important asset. But you must realize that it is not enough. Your IQ will help you personally, but EQ, MQ, and BQ will benefit everyone around you as well. If you can master the complexities of these unique and often under-rated forms of intelligence, research tells us you will achieve greater success and be regarded as more professionally competent and capable.

How often are you asking people you find interesting to go out on a date?

We often get stuck in a rut of doing the same thing over and over again. The solution is to do something different. If you are having trouble finding and going out on dates, then there’s generally two reasons why this is the case.

1. You are not asking people out.
2. You are asking people out, but they say no or do not call you back.

If you are not asking people out, then I have two questions for you:

1. Are you in the right place?
2. What is holding you back from asking someone out?

If you are asking people out, but they are not saying yes, then I have two more questions:

1. Are you self-sabotaging before you even ask?
2. Are the people you’re asking out interested in being asked out?

Sometimes it is as easy as putting yourself in the right location to find people to date. If you are at home, doing hobbies with people who are not single, or are uncomfortable getting to know strangers in large or noisy crowds (like a bar or restaurant), then how can others see you relaxed and shining so they want to get to know you? If it is difficult to find the courage to flirt, you keep striking out (but don’t know why), or you don’t know how, then by learning how to understand and communicate with the opposite sex, you can learn how to become more comfortable.

The solution: Try something new.

It’s not all about numbers though, is it? You don’t just want lots of dates, what you really desire is to find someone to love you. Most likely, you are fed up with what you have or have not been doing. You want a long term relationship. If you listen more to negative discussions in your head or prefer solitude over getting to know other people, then there is hope. By learning communication skills and how to understand emotions, and use them to your benefit—you can increase the amount of dates you go on. The article 4 Reasons Why Accountability Increases Your Dating Odds further explains how a Mars Venus Coach can help you realize your goal of finding and then sustaining a healthy, loving relationship.

Investing in yourself to help you find someone right for you is well worth the expense and effort. If at the end of the day, you learn how to take the good out of all of your life experiences and to keep challenging yourself to grow in emotional maturity, then you will succeed. The insurance is that your relationships will become healthier.

When you get outside of your head, you learn how to connect with people on a genuine level. As you gain courage to approach people and have conversations with them, then you’ll begin to increase your dating odds. As you learn more about yourself and how to manage your emotions and thoughts, then you will also gain clarity on who you’re looking for as a mate.

As you make yourself available by engaging in doing things you’re interested in with other people, then it is only a matter of time before you find someone compatible for you. Chances are you’ll be able to identify when a relationship is going somewhere, and when it’s not the best one for you. This will enable you to spend more time in the relationship you want, rather than chasing after a dream, or frustrated with not knowing how to make that relationship come to fruition. Are you ready to try something new?

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

It is well-known that before you come to work, you have to leave your informal self back home. In the office, you’re an employee, someone who’s supposed to go about his work in the most professional manner. There is a way to talk to your superiors, to your peers and your subordinates. This mode of communication is known as workplace communication and is typically formal and to the point. So how does one get the required workplace communication skills and what is the importance of communication skills in the workplace?

Communication Skills in the Workplace

What are the good workplace communications skills?
Courteousness: A person should always be courteous while speaking to anyone in the workplace, whether senior or junior. One should not speak disparagingly with juniors, while speaking in a laudatory way with seniors. Courteousness should be maintained in the workplace irrespective of rank.
Precision: You’re not supposed to sit and chat in the workplace. Workplace communication facilitates necessity and should be completed as quickly as possible. Workplace communication mostly consists of delegating tasks and reporting results. So keep it short.
Language: One should never use any slang terms while at work. Business communication should be crisp and clear so that everyone understands what you’re saying. Slang terms bring in the eventuality of misunderstanding and also look unprofessional. So one should avoid using slang in office.
Low Speaking Volume: One comes across so many loud-talkers. Perhaps they are naturally so or do so deliberately to drive some point across. But speaking loudly is disturbing to other people around you hence, a low speaking volume should be maintained.
Clarity: It is also essential to ensure that the person you are speaking with has completely understood what you have to say. Hence, one should speak very slowly and clearly. If you have a strong ethnic accent, you should make sure that you talk slowly so that the other person gets what you have to say. It is always good to ask, “have you understood?” just in case someone doesn’t get what you have to say.
Listen to Others: Most people think of effective communication as a one-way thing. But it is very important to also be a good listener and not just a good talker. Others too often have something to say or to contribute to a discussion hence, listening too, is one of the effective communication skills at work.
Posture and Body Language: They say actions speak louder than words and the same can be considered to be true at the workplace. The body has a language of its own too, and at the workplace, the body ought to be courteous. There are simple things to keep in mind, whether it is wishing everyone ‘good morning’ at work, or having a courteous smile on your face, being well-dressed in office or sitting erect when someone is talking to you. All these things too are included in the superset of workplace communication skills.
Written Communication

Modern methods allow the least use of the written mode of communication (less than before). Today, we use emails, service forms, report sheets and the occasional sticky note. Your skills should extend to this area as well. Do not drone on about things in your emails. In fact, an email is the perfect excuse to make it short, simple, quick and effective. While filling reports on any projects or for employee appraisals, keep the language clean and simple. It reflects on as you as someone who is hard working and prompt.

Importance of Communication Skills in the Workplace

If one understands the significance or importance of something, then I feel that they do that thing better. So instead of just dishing out all the important workplace communication skills, I feel it is equally important for people to understand, what is the big deal about it! It is important to be formal and cordial in the workplace for several reasons. Firstly, you are viewed by everyone in the office as someone who has a positive influence in the workplace. Such people are always desired by companies. Secondly, you learn to get your point across effectively and ensure that the work is done the way it should be. And thirdly, (I’m being a bit informal here) it makes you look like a team player and makes you more loved by the company overall!

So this was all about the workplace communication skills and their importance. Now you know how to communicate effectively in the workplace and why. So get on with the job!

I challenge you to give up being selfish for the next 30 days, regardless of your religious affiliation. Think of it instead as a challenge to see what it’s like to give unconditional love away, with no expectations or guarantees that it will be reciprocated in return.

We often don’t stop to think before we speak or act. We end up reacting to our emotions, rather than using them as a tool. When you take a second to stop and ask yourself what emotion you’re feeling, then you give yourself a chance to make a deliberate logic-based decision, using your prefrontal cortex, rather than reacting from your mid or hind brain—areas responsible for fight or flight and reflexive responses (breathing, digestion, heartbeat, etc.).

As you’re monitoring your emotions, if you come across anger, then ask yourself what else you are feeling. Anger is a secondary emotion. There is always an underlying emotion attached to anger. And, once you identify what that emotion is—you have a choice. Most people react out of anger, thereby hurting themselves or the other person by creating or feeding in to an argument. When you’re able to say, “I feel anger, and I’m embarrassed that I forgot such and such,” you can then choose to stop feeling this way. It hinges on choosing your words with care.

We are in relationships to relate with other people. How we interact with them dictates the quality of our relationships.

Choose to only say and do things that lift one another up, and keep you connected to the other person.

Give in to being nice to the other person. Despite the battles you wage in your head with patience, with self-confidence, with self-worth, you can choose your words so they lift up instead of hurt, and show love instead of anger or hatred.

There really is something to the adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Are you up for the challenge to spend 30 days giving away unconditional love?

Only say and do things that come from a place of unconditional love. Your feelings will be that of what it feels like to experience unconditional love. It is life-changing, but more over than that it is a sobering reminder that our relationships are all we have, and how we treat our relationships reveals how true it is that our actions speak louder than our words ever do.

Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd

Mars Venus Coaching

Corporate Media Relations

Promote yourself
This is a great skill and essential in a situation where it is necessary to maintain status within a group. Being confident in promoting yourself will improve levels of communication with men in the workplace.

Avoid tag endings
One of the ways women undermine their own abilities in the work place is by using tag endings. These are the couple of little words that are often added on to the end of a sentence like “isn’t it”, “is that ok”, “maybe”, “I think”. These tiny words serve to make you look unsure and change a sentence or what could be a powerful statement in to a question.

Be direct and concise
When communicating with men, come straight to the point and leave out unnecessary details and background information. Men usually communicate in a very direct and to women’s ears, a blunt way.

Your final tip is… “Don’t take male comments so personally”
Men don’t take their comments to each other personally and can’t understand why women do. Women tend to allow their feelings to be hurt by things that men say. To help women succeed at work being able to separate business from personal issues is a great skill.

Tips for Men

Build rapport
Because relationships are important to women, if you make the effort to get to know her, or if she feels she has something in common with you, she is more likely to respond better to your requests, selling methods or ideas.

Avoid monopolizing conversations
Men need to actively practice involving women in open discussion; remembering that it is not her natural tendency to speak up over the top of others.

Don’t lecture
If a man goes on and on about the incident what happens in a woman’s head is she starts to switch from feeling responsible to defending her actions and moves from feeling remorse to resentment.

The final tip for men is “Be specific with praise”
This is almost the opposite of the way we would praise a man. Because women like to be able to repeat what they did well, the more specific and the more detail you can give them about what they did well or what you liked the better it is for a woman. For example “Jan, the report you handed in was great. Having the graphs in there and the comparison of the two departments made a big impact.

Are you ready to learn even more tips? Why not get started and improve your skills with a workshop that has the timely information to make you stand out in your organization and move your business or career forward.

Again, if you found this information helpful, click the link below to learn more about the complete online video eWorkshop, “Mars and Venus in the Workplace”. LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COMPLETE ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP NOW

“Mars and Venus in the Workplace” is the same life-changing workshop that John Gray and his team of Mars Venus Success coaches have given in-person throughout the world. And now you can benefit from this workshop in the comfort of your own home.

PURCHASE “MARS VENUS in the WORKPLACE” ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP TODAY!

To review, we highlighted the mistakes that men and women make relating to:

1. How a man needs to feel needed and appreciated, and a woman needs to feel cared for and supported… and we tend not to fulfill the needs of our partners consistently.
2. How men and women cope with stress differently and how we make the mistake of not allowing our partner to deal with stress in the way that’s most effective for them.
3. How men and women respond differently to difficult challenges and stress… how men often don’t take into account his partner’s needs and feelings, and how women tend to expand the issue and bring into the discussion past situations and feelings that have previously been “resolved”.

The only way we can avoid making these relationship blunders is to heighten our awareness of what our partner needs from us and our tendency to do things that are perceived negatively. With this heightened awareness, you can be the man or woman your partner truly needs.

This information is only the “tip of the iceberg”. The complete online video eWorkshop Mars Venus: Secrets of Successful Relationships will provide you with practical ideas and proven relationship strategies that can be immediately applied to your own situation. You’ll participate in practical exercises designed to help you create lasting and loving relationships. You’ll learn:
• How to communicate with the opposite sex
• How to increase self esteem and confidence
• How to ‘score points’ with the opposite sex
• How to balance your work and personal life
• How to increase your personal and professional growth
• How to let go of the anger, sadness, fear, and/or guilt that keeps you from attracting and creating empowering relationships
• How to make sense out of confusing emotions that inhibit true intimacy
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE COMPLETE ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP NOW

Mars Venus: Secrets of Successful Relationships is the same life-changing workshop that John Gray and his team of Mars Venus Success coaches have given in-person throughout the world. And now you can benefit from this workshop in the comfort of your own home.

PURCHASE MARS VENUS: SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE VIDEO eWORKSHOP TODAY!

But the workshop is only helpful, can only change your life, if you participate in the sessions. So take action, take the next step and purchase now.

The Relationships You Want. Start Here.

Sincerely,

Mars Venus Coaching