The last fifty years overhauled the workplace with gender diversification. What emerged were Venusians conditioned to quell their questions, work independently, and survive in a Martian world. The Conditioned Venusian speaks directly, gets annoyed by excessive questions, and is frustrated by emotional outbursts. However, when removed from Martians and left with others of her species, The Conditioned Venusian finds that she alienates the women around her.
With more women in upper management positions it becomes necessary for The Conditioned Venusian to figure out how to relate to her fellow females in order to move up in her industry. By a male standard, if you do your work well, can direct a team, and complete a project efficiently then you qualify for promotions or rewards. However, in the eyes of a female boss, a promotion or reward may also depend on how effectively you built your team, earned their trust, and worked with them on a daily basis.
Luckily, there are simple ways to reconnect and rebuild the previously alienated relationships:
- Make Eye Contact – Making eye contact is a simple gesture that shows Venusians that they have your full attention. Make a game of it. Keep a tally of all the different eye colors you encounter in one day or a week. The more often you play the game, the quicker making eye contact will become a habit.
- Show Interest – Show interest in the projects a Venusian is working on. Ask them about their processes and challenges. Discuss their visions of the final outcome and let them know you’re there if they need help. Not only will they know they have your support, but they will feel like you care.
- Pay Her a Complement – When a Martian pays a Venusian a complement it can be misconstrued, but when women pay a complement it’s a moment of bonding, leading to follow up questions. “Nice Shoes! Where’d you get them? Don’t you just love that place?” Not only does this relieve stress in women, but a complement can help you find common ground.
- Create a Team Environment – When asking a Venusian for something, phrase it in a way that inspires team work and involves them in the process. Ex. “Sally, we need to boost sales. What do you think we could do to increase the sale of earmuffs?” By asking for a suggestion Sally feels as if she is part of the process.
- Ask Questions – Ask your fellow Venusians about their kids, pets, or spouses. Ask them for their input, feelings, or opinions. Get them talking about them, then they will want to talk about you. It’s how women communicate.
- Listen – Pay attention to what a Venusian is saying. Then make a point of bringing it up later or referring to something they said. Ex. “Sally, is your mom feeling any better?” or “Sally, I was thinking about what you said last week.” That way they know you were listening.
- Praise – Acknowledge a Venusian’s good work publicly. Write out index cards and pin them to a wall, announce it at a meeting, or make a poster in order to show your appreciation. What’s important is that they receive praise for the good work that they do.
With these tips The Conditioned Venusian can get in touch with her female roots without forgoing her Martian conditioning. Keeping in mind that others might be conditioned like her, she can tailor her actions and reactions according to the gender she encounters. This ensures that she snags that promotion, gets things done, and creates a trusting bond with her coworkers whether they hail from Mars or Venus.
For more information about the Mars Venus Coaching program and how it will help you master the gender differences, contact Rich Bernstein.